Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today.
– Robert Hasting
Leaving everything to start a new in Denmark was a huge move. It was a huge chance to take, with consequences I couldn’t imagine. Over the years I have been able to deal with some situations that I might not have if I had remained in my home town. So I have no regrets about the decision.
However, there is a lot of work to be done to get back on the right track.
Marriage can be hard, and has taught me about myself. One thing I have learned is that over time and through challenges, you begin to understand who you are. I have had a couple of people reply that as you figure out who you are, it changes you. At first I did not agree, but after reconsideration, it makes sense.
As you learn who you are, your boundaries for what you are willing to accept may become more defined. I have found that this increases integrity and consistency. It also increases confidence about one’s character, but sometimes it can be mistaken for arrogance… Oh well!
Part of being in a world with other people is accepting that people are different. Part of being in a relationship is accepting that our personalities stay pretty much the same throughout our lives, and as a result so do many of our reactions and habits.
I made the mistake in my relationship of hoping certain things would change. Unfortunately, I realised too late that you can’t enter a relationship expecting each other to change in the way either party wants. I then had to consider, would I (we) ever be satisfied. When I finally accepted the answer, I realised the time had come.
We still had a great relationship in many ways and a son who we needed to consider. I thought it was better to separate while we still had good feelings toward each other, rather than waiting until we became bitter and angry. We will always be in a relationship, so now it’s about creating the best possible situation with what we have.
This year I start a new chapter. Now single, but with the same drive and determination I’m known for by my friends. Let us see where it take me.
The first words that came to mind were, “I’m sorry”. Though it seems as though those words to not fit your situation I could not help but think them. They were automatic, pressing upon me leading me to write them.
Thanks.
After a considerable length of time thinking over what is best this seemed to be the best decision. So I feel positive about the future.