Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today.
– Robert Hasting
Leaving everything to start a new in Denmark was a huge move. It was a huge chance to take, with consequences I couldn’t imagine. Over the years I have been able to deal with some situations that I might not have if I had remained in my home town. So I have no regrets about the decision.
However, there is a lot of work to be done to get back on the right track.
Marriage can be hard, and has taught me about myself. One thing I have learned is that over time and through challenges, you begin to understand who you are. I have had a couple of people reply that as you figure out who you are, it changes you. At first I did not agree, but after reconsideration, it makes sense.
As you learn who you are, your boundaries for what you are willing to accept may become more defined. I have found that this increases integrity and consistency. It also increases confidence about one’s character, but sometimes it can be mistaken for arrogance… Oh well!
Part of being in a world with other people is accepting that people are different. Part of being in a relationship is accepting that our personalities stay pretty much the same throughout our lives, and as a result so do many of our reactions and habits.
I made the mistake in my relationship of hoping certain things would change. Unfortunately, I realised too late that you can’t enter a relationship expecting each other to change in the way either party wants. I then had to consider, would I (we) ever be satisfied. When I finally accepted the answer, I realised the time had come.
We still had a great relationship in many ways and a son who we needed to consider. I thought it was better to separate while we still had good feelings toward each other, rather than waiting until we became bitter and angry. We will always be in a relationship, so now it’s about creating the best possible situation with what we have.
This year I start a new chapter. Now single, but with the same drive and determination I’m known for by my friends. Let us see where it take me.